As part of Bookaroo in the City, we took Mayil
Will Not Be Quiet to Satyug Darshan Vidyalaya, Faridabad. The auditorium
was packed with 80 children (eight to twelve-year-olds) and we were excited and
slightly nervous as the back rows filled up.
How many of you write diaries, we asked.
Just two hands shot up – a girl and a boy.
Why do you write?
The girl said she wrote about things she couldn’t talk about
with other people. She wrote about her feelings, she wrote about things that
happened every day, she wrote down secrets. The boy said writing was creative;
it helped him write better and read better too.
We introduced Mayil and read the first entry from her diary.
There was a soft giggle or two as we read out the warning bit (“No sneaking,
peeking, touching or EATING.”). But what got them thinking was Mayil’s question
about Dasharata wanting a son to “carry” his name. Why didn’t Dasharata want a
daughter, she wonders. Couldn’t she rule a kingdom too?
“Girls
leave home and
become part of another family,” said many. But when we asked if girls
could
rule a kingdom, neither the boys nor the girls responded, at least not
at once.Then we spoke about a sporting star that came from their
hometown. They all knew who she was,
but some didn’t know that she was from Haryana. Did they know that Saina
Nehwal’s grandmother hadn’t visited her at first when she was born? Could they
guess why? “Because she was a girl,” came the replies. Saina Nehwal’s mother
was a badminton player too and Saina is a
champion today.
So could girls and boys do the same things if they wanted to? They
nodded their heads.
The liveliest discussion – the one that really got them talking – was the one about heroes and heroines.
Who was the perfect hero? Which heroine did they like the most? “Katrina Kaif and
Salman Khan!” said one. “Dara Singh!” said another, as the others burst out
laughing. “Edward Cullen and Bella Swan!” said another (those teenage vampires
just get everywhere, don’t they). Why are they perfect, we asked. But they just
smiled shyly. So we took another approach:
Tall or short? – TALL
Fair or dark? – FAIR
Thin or fat? – THIN
Big eyes or small eyes? – There were shouts of big, small and even medium!
Were all beautiful people tall? – NO!
Did they know dark people who were beautiful? –YES!
So what was beauty? Who decided who was beautiful and who was ugly? What did
beauty have to do with who they were? These were some of the questions we
raised. One boy said Johnny Lever was dark and not great to look at,
but he was funny and entertaining so it didn’t matter. There were many who
didn’t speak, but they were thinking and talking to each other. When we
concluded the session, at least half the room wanted to start a diary!
Our second session was with The British School – and they had
a lot of opinions! Their responses to the questions we raised were instinctive,
often downright blunt and very decided!
We read the same entry about Dasharata wanting a son. Some
boys and girls said that they had their mother’s name as well as father’s. That
led to another discussion – who was the head of the family? They had different
answers:
“The person who brings home the money.”
“The person who earns the most.”
“The person who wins the argument.”
“The person who is older.”
One girl said, “I think my little sister is the head of the
family. We all do what she wants!”
Another interesting discussion revolved around dolls – could
boys play with them too? Lots of boys put their hands up – but many, after
first clarifying if action figures counted. Does Ken (Barbie’s boyfriend) count
as a toy, we asked. Someone said, “Ken is a doll.
He doesn’t have weapons.”
This naturally led to a conversation about sissies and
tomboys:
“Tomboys hang out with the boys.”
“Tomboys have short hair.”
“Tomboys are hairy. I had this friend. She was a tomboy and she was really
hairy.”
“Sissies are like… shy.”
“Sissies are scared.”
“Sissies are girly sort of boys.”
What were their definitions of sissies and tomboys based on? Appearance?
Personality? Both? The teachers were also involved in the discussion. For instance, when one of the boys said women can't handle swiss knives, a
teacher quipped that she won't be taking him along for
camping trips then!
We read another entry from Mayil’s diary – where she meets a
trans woman on a train. When we were writing this entry, we had wanted children to
think about and understand the difference between sex and gender. But we were
really happy that it also provoked thoughts and insights on identity,
self-definition, recognizing and learning to accept differences and
acknowledging and being able to talk about discomfort.
When we finished reading this entry, one boy said he didn’t
understand or think it was “natural” for a girl to want to be a boy or vice
versa, but he would respect it, because it was that person’s choice. Others
were less certain and said so. We heard quite a few say, “I don’t get it” and
“It’s weird” and “Why would anybody do something like that?”
And it was fitting that the session ended with some questions
remaining unanswered.Because Mayil
is
about issues that remain unresolved, even if solutions have been found,
for the
moment. Mayil writes as she thinks. She has plenty to say and plenty to
ask.
She doesn’t always say or do the right things: she is embarrassed when
she
thinks that her friend, VS, is going to read out a poem in class, she
thinks
her brother doesn’t stand up for himself even when it’s not his fault.
But she is not afraid to be wrong or say sorry. And she isn’t quiet!
Sowmya and Niveditha
A big thanks to Jo,
Swati and Venkatesh for having us at Bookaroo and to the students and teachers
of both schools – we loved being there!
